Excessive wealth, extreme emissions – and ecocide: what I learned at Europe’s big superyacht show

These yachts are highly popular with the ‘super-bourgeoisie’ – and getting bigger. Can anything be done to stop them destroying our seas?

Who knew? Apparently everyone did, apart from me: you don’t wear shoes on a superyacht. Now, about to step on to my first teak deck at the Monaco Yacht Show, I’ve got to take my trainers off, and I’m having a sock panic. Have they got holes? Do they even match? Do they smell?

To be honest, I’ve come dressed all wrong for Europe’s big annual superyacht trade exhibition. The code for men seems to be crisp and tucked in, blazers and chinos, navy and white, sculpted hair and designer sunnies. (I went colourful, loose, casual). For women, it’s something like Riviera elegance. Everyone – whether they’re Italian, French, English, German, American, exhibitors, buyers, brokers, charterers – seems to know each other. The international superyacht community seems to be a close-knit one, and I’m not part of it. Yet.

For now, though, I’m boarding my first vessel: a relatively modest Zeelander 8 – 23.9 metres (79ft) long, built in the Netherlands. It has a rather retro look about it, with pleasing curves and a rear end not unlike a Porsche’s. I could imagine James Bond at the wheel. It’s fast too, reaching 40 knots (46mph); I could be in Saint-Tropez in a little over an hour.

Downstairs there’s a huge owner’s cabin, plus a couple of double guest cabins, all en suite, with lots of nice details, such as a cream-coloured leather floor. In the less opulent crew quarters, there’s room for two or three. How much does it cost? This one is not actually for sale – some of the boats here are, others are for charter, some just for show. But I could order one just like it, it would take a year and a half to build and cost me about €9.5m (£8m).

Tempting, certainly, but I need to see a few more before rushing into anything. I can’t help noticing that, compared with some of the others packed into Port Hercules, the Zeelander 8 is a bit … well, small. Is it even a superyacht? There seems to be some debate about how long a yacht has to be to be super – some say 24 metres, others 30.

No question about this one – a Fast50, made by Italian builders Baglietto, with room for 12 guests and a crew of nine. It’s not as fast as the Dutch one, despite the name. Its four engines take it to 30 knots, but that’s actually very quick for a 50 metre boat. Perhaps more importantly, its gross tonnage, referring to internal volume, is 499; a sub-500GT yacht isn’t subject to the more stringent safety and environmental rules under the International Maritime Organisation (IMO) that yachts over 500GT are, so they require less frequent surveys and have fewer restrictions on crew size and certification. My favourite features are the large “beach club” (the open deck at the back) and the Jacuzzi right up at the pointy end. Imagine it: sitting with a glass of fizz, in the bubbles, at 30 knots, Céline Dion blasting out … where do I sign?

Oh, again. Not for sale. The first Fast50, fresh from the shipyard, is already sold, but they won’t tell me how much for or who to (superyacht owners can be quite shy). The search continues.

The trouble with superyachting, I’m finding here in Monaco, is that you think you’ve found the perfect vessel, and then you look over there and there’s a bigger, better one. It’s not just me – this is reflected in the Global Order Book, published by Boat International, which tracks construction projects. The 2026 GOB counts the number of yachts over 24 metres under construction globally at 1,093. In 2016, it counted 755 vessels under construction. This year’s figure is actually down 3.95% from last year, but that’s balanced by an increase in average length and gross tonnage. In other words, a few fewer, but they’re getting bigger. New prefixes are required, “mega” and “giga”, but for simplicity’s sake we’ll stick with superyacht. Here at MYS 2026 there are 118 superyachts, with a combined length of 5,508 metres, and a value of €4.5bn.

Despite the sock shame, I’m beginning to feel more comfortable. Most people are friendly. It’s a lovely day on the Côte d’Azur – I’m offered ice-cream, branded fans and straw hats. It’s not just the yachts, there are stands for everything connected. Would I like to come to a wine tasting later “exploring superyacht wine trends”? Of course I would. Am I interested in yachting in Saudi Arabia? Hmmm, maybe next year. There are loads of toys on show – jetskis, eFoils, even submersibles. And if you’re still finding life at sea boring, there’s a portable golf simulator, with cameras and sensors, plus a screen, with hundreds of real courses programmed into it. So after dropping anchor off St Barts you can play a round at St Andrews. It costs €170,000 (£143,000).

And so on to Nixie, built by Lürssen in Germany, owned by co-founder and CEO of Revolut, Nik Storonsky: 102 metres long, with a helipad, glass-bottomed infinity pool, dedicated spa and wellness zone, and a crew of 34, one of whom is busy polishing a stainless steel cleat on the lowest of its decks. Access, though, is “reserved exclusively for direct, potential clients,” says the Lürssen PR. Perhaps they think the average Guardian reader is not in the market to rent a boat the length of a football pitch. Nixie costs €2.4m a week to hire. A lot, I know, but if you split it between the 12 of you …

Anyway, it’s not even the biggest here, which I will be allowed on. First though I pass another – Boardwalk V, only 76.5 metres long and five years old, but this one is for sale, at a discount price! Down €14m, to just €135m. Not including the helicopter. Boardwalk V … it’s ringing a bell. Got it! And now the twin flags on the helicopter’s tail – the American stars and stripes and the tricolore of Italy – make sense. This boat belongs to Tilman Fertitta, billionaire owner of restaurants, hotels, casinos, and the Houston Rockets basketball team, and now Donald Trump’s ambassador to Italy. He made the news in…